My first class

It was really good!  I was nervous and anxious at first, felt like throwing up or running from the room, but I didn’t! ! And I am so very glad I didn’t.  It was really out of my comfort zone,  but I think that zone got bigger… I was talking to people and even read aloud during the class.  It started with very simple seated yoga, a couple standing movements and then a 20 minute guided  meditation, followed by 3 readings that really strike home.

After coming home from that, I found out a won a free registration to a women’s weight loss group local in town here. It’s women who want to get healthy,  and get together for walks and work outs. Very excited for it! I can get healthier and meet new friends… it’s a win win. I go for my first weigh in on Tuesday evening, then 13 weeks of exercise, and a final weigh in to see how we have done… There are even prizes for those who get the most points. ( based on % lost, food journal etc)
I feel good about these choice! It only goes up from here!!

Day 7…..

Well I’ve stuck with it for a week!!
Today was a really rough start. Do you ever have those days where your get up and go, got up and went without you? it takes you forever to snap out of it? And you’re borderline tears for most of the day? That was me today.
I had zero motivation, and I felt pretty down in the dumps. I did some positive meditation, but even that didn’t do much.
I went out for brunch with my daughter, my mom and my brother, broke down in tears in the restaurant cause I felt so overwhelmed. Had to excuse myself. Came back in, are, and had to go outside again.
The day started to pick up a bit afterwards, took my daughter bowling for the first time, and she really enjoyed herself, and so did I. But I still felt off!!so I decided we should go for a walk, but it was too windy for my daughter, so they took her back to the car, and let me go for a bit of a walk on my own. We went for a bit if a drive then it was off to family dinner…. I was really nervous, cause last week I had a pretty bad anxiety attack at my dads house, and was scared it would happen again…. I almost back out, but decided I needed to face it, and I did…. And I’m so glad I did. I survived, and didn’t have an attack! Somedays. It just a matter of stepping outside the comfort zone, you could surprise yourself!!!
Tonight it’s time to watch some fluff on tv and do a little knitting!
Tomorrow WILL be a better day! And today will just be a reminder that I am stronger than I think!!!
-J

Day 3…. And day 4…

Yesterday is a bit foggy for me, it was filled with appointments, counselling( at which she stated the huge improvement she is seeing) chiropractic and some window shopping with my mom and brother. I didn’t get outside for a walk, and I think that really took a toll on me. Had a panic attack last night, luckily it was fairly major and I was able to get through it with some ease, instead of feeling like I needed to go to a hospital or wAs going utterly crazy! When I felt it coming on, I did some jumping jacks, ran on the spot, then stretched out with some yoga. It was still lingering, so I did my journaling, attempted to read a book, but couldn’t focus, so I engaged in a conversation with my mom about things that interest me, that I could start studying to keep my mind busy. That, in turn, lead to me falling down the wiki hole and reading up about the isle of Capri in Italy. It’s a beautiful place and looks so peaceful! It’s on my list of places I would like to visit!

Today, I had an appointment with the intake worker for mental health. And it went way better than I had planned. I do not need to see a psychiatrist and have medications shoved at me!! That is always a bonus in this situation. We talked about a few things I can do to help out, including increasing my dose of St. John’s wart. I am currently only taking a 3rd of the recommended dose. They are also referring me to a mindful movement and meditation program that is 8 weeks long, and if I would like to pursue more afterwards there is mindfulness cognitive meditation. This is really exciting for me, as that is the route of treatment I would like to take, not medications but natural and finding inner peace! I am on the right path, and that is an enlightening feeling!
I have been working on positive thinking, although I am realizing I have been negative for so long, that it is going to be a long road. The gratitude journaling is helping, and now it’s just reflection of things that I need to work on, and seeing the brighter side! Which today, feels like it is starting to come together! Also, this kitchen dance party thing… It’s utter genius!!! I should have been doing It for years!!!